Wednesday, January 18, 2012

In Opposition

The contents from today's post are copied directly from my friends over at Tucows from this page. I feel that they hit the nail on the head and so I wanted to share it with you all. There are mentions of videos and such in the article. If you have the time and you're interested in watching them then please pay the site a visit and access the original article.

Why We Don’t Like SOPA
January 12th, 2012 | Written by Elliot Noss

The proposed SOPA (and equally odious “Protect IP Act“) legislation is fundamentally flawed in how it works and the damage it is likely to do to the Internet, which has been the greatest platform for innovation the world has ever seen.

The Internet is a global creature. A “Made in the USA” solution will no more work to stop the problems talked of than would one made in any other single nation state. Worse, the US has been at the forefront of ensuring that the Internet has remained free and a platform for innovation for the last fifteen years. With SOPA, or ProtectIP, that leadership will effectively end and Syria, China, Iran and others will not only use the US as a role model, they will also use these actions as further evidence of US control of the Internet and justification for trying to turn it over to the UN/ITU.

Worse, the legislation itself is fundamentally corrupt. It is bought and paid for by big media, trying vainly to protect anachronistic business models. This has been demonstrated clearly in all of the hearings and the very conduct of the debate. Listening to how deeply uninformed those being asked to legislate this issue are has been nothing short of scary. Watching how support and opposition has lined up has been disheartening. This is the worst example of the kind of fundamental corruption that is at the heart of the US political system currently and is well defined by Professor Larry Lessig. If you have ten minutes please watch this video on the subject. If you have an hour please watch this one.

The Internet is not a corpus, it is not a thing. It is a series of protocols, which are really agreements on how computers will behave when connected to the Internet. Treating the Internet like a thing to be legislated and controlled is as ill conceived as treating “Intellectual Property” like physical property and leads to even greater perversions. If governments squeeze too tightly, the Internet as we know it will simply get up and walk away. It will fracture and split with a “clean” Internet and a much larger Darknet. than there is today, but not one used mainly for file sharing. Instead the Darknet will become the real Internet. Brands will sell things and Media will offer content on the “Cleannet”, but the Darknet will be where ideas are shared, plans are made, memes are propagated and where most of the cool people, including most of our children, will be.

Prohibitions have never worked to change behaviours. They simply make people who fear things feel good and create a new mini-industry for fear mongers to make money off of. They do not change behaviours.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Girl Scout Cookies - A Fathers Involvement

I think that moms, and women in general, get a bad rap when it comes to Girl Scout cookies. While I'm sure they are laced with either crack or meth because they are so habit forming, this addiction does not limit itself to women alone. I have often found myself sitting at my desk, working on a project, and realize that an entire sleeve of Thin Mints lies empty before me. (On a side note, who is the cruel bastard that included the word "Thin" when naming a cookie?!) Men are just as guilty of craving these little 160 calorie pieces of sugar induced ecstasy. Ecstasy noun \ˈek-stə-sē\, a trance or trance-like state in which an individual transcends normal consciousness. Girl Scout cookies can do that to a person.

This past fall M got involved with Dasies and brought home her sheet in order to go out and start selling. Not only did I realize that I would going to be able to get my fix of Samoas, Thin Mints, and Do-si-dos, I came to the horrible realization that I would be recruited as a minion to sell this drug to unsuspecting customers.

"Yo! Ova'ere...I gotch 'ya Tagalongs you've been cravin'."

Sometimes the most aggressive sales techniques are the most successful.

M's mom and I decided to set a goal of 100 boxes that we would work on selling. We didn't want M to see the prize list because we didn't want her to be upset if she picked out something (which would inevitably be an iPod touch since she wants one like her mom and I have) and be disappointed with herself if she didn't reach that goal. Shes 6 - what do you want from us? Let her be disappointed that we're her parents when shes older and allow her some happiness now.

There's something about a scout's cookie order form that brings joy and sorrow into the hearts of many. Joy, because you know you're about to order and get your fix. Sorrow, because you know that the case of cookies that you ordered is really for you and not the "Christmas presents" you claim you will give them out as. Its typical of those with addictive behavior - lying about the truth to make yourself feel less ashamed. The good thing about Girl Scout cookies is that it doesn't take 12 weeks of rehab to get over it and your dealer doesn't come around every week. Lindsay Lohan should be so lucky.

In the end, M ended up selling around 150 boxes of cookies with her mom and I buying 2 cases (don't judge me!).

And as I close, I look over into the living room and see on the floor an empty wrapper from a sleeve of Do-si-does the wife and I ate while watching CSI:NY. It lay there as if it were discarded underwear from a nameless lover, taken home from the bar, in order that you could enjoy a guilty night of fornication. The shame in seeing it lying there was about the same.

At least Girl Scout cookies won't give you the clap.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Family Introduction

I announced the fact that I have a Facebook page before I even created a post with any substance. Hows that for ambition?

So, first - me. T.M.F. I'm a late bloomer - 35 years old and finishing a bachelor degree. I like to think that my academic career has been successful. My numerous awards, scholarships, and memberships to organizations should vouch for this success. Since this is my blog you'll be hearing different things about me throughout, so we'll keep my introduction at that. Besides - I want you to want to come back here and read.

My wife, S, is a stay-at-home mom but is also taking some online classes. She's full of adorable quirks which enamor me. One of them is the fact that we have a queen size bed which should be more than adequate for two grown adults to sleep in. This would be the case if she didn't love her pillows more than me. I sleep with one pillow; S sleeps with 3 - two of which are lined up, length wise, on the other side of her. So, in essence, the space of 3 people is squeezed into our bed. To complicate matters she is a sprawler when she sleeps. Typically I awake to her butt in my back, her legs and arms out stretched, and only enough room for me to sleep on my side and stretched out straight. If she isn't doing that then she is cuddling me to the edge of the bed. Either way she sleeps I find that shes also stolen my pillow and left me without. She now has 4 pillows and I have none.

We've been talking about getting a king size bed. Prior to the queen we had a full size bed and her pillows occupied the same amount of space then as they do now. If you're able to follow patterns and logic and you do well in those tests you find in magazines, you can see a pattern emerge and follow the "pillow to space ratio" theory.

My son, whom will typically be referred to as "B", is 13, in middle school, and going through the typical trials that life throws at people during this stage of life. He is currently affected by a terrible disability which most refer to as "puberty". At times he seems like my son, but then he'll break out and sing "...don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me..." (not to mention he dances while doing this). He thinks he is funny. His friends think he is funny. His humor is lost on his mother and me. Thankfully I was never like that when I was his age. "S" says, "Neither was I...and I'm a girl."

Our daughter "M" is our 6 yr old evil princess. Her negativity and evil minded behavior assure me that she, truly, is the fruit of my loins. Her mother and I are quite sure that she will eventually rule the world someday and we'll all be forced into labor camps and Justin Bieber will be our entertainment ambassador. Just today both M and B were told to make their beds. B made his while M did not. Upon their mother's inquiry B says he made his which prompts M to run into the room, jump on his bed, and say, "Mmmm...its messy" and run out...laughing hysterically. I yell at her most of the time, not because I am angry at the things she does, but because I'm thinking to myself, "Damn...wish I'd have thought of that."

I have lots of stories to share about all of these people, and more, that are a part of my life.

One quick warning...I am a cynical person. The name of this blog was chosen with purpose. I'm not the best father in the world (challenge - find me someone who is). Typically I find humor and laugh at things that I probably shouldn't. Our children can never claim that their childhood was boring. Besides...I figure that, if I'm going to have to pay for my children's therapy, I might as well get my money's worth...and, without us, they'd have nothing to talk about.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Facebook Page Launched.

You would think a person who hates most of humanity would not be on a site like Facebook. You're wrong. Where else might I find like minded individuals who are as cynical as I?

Drop by and say hello at

Breaking the Blog Cherry

mis·an·throp·ic adj \ˌmi-sən-ˈthrä-pik\

1: of, relating to, or characteristic of a misanthrope
2: marked by a hatred or contempt for humankind


1. <a misanthropic outlook on life that probably stems from a childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse>

fa·ther noun \ˈfä-thər\

Definition of FATHER

1 a : a man who has begotten a child

Yeah - that sounds about right.

Hope you're all strapped in - because this is going to get very, very interesting...