Monday, February 20, 2012

Exes Ruin Everything

I hate exes. I don't hate all of mine. I'm actually still friends with a couple of them. I don't hate all of my wife's either. One of them helped me once when my car broke down and I needed someone with a truck and trailer to haul it to a garage to get it repaired.

When I say I hate exes I mean I hate the ones who ruin all the good things you once enjoyed in your own life for your significant other.

I've always been a fan of music. My taste in music is rather eclectic, but for the purpose of this we're going to focus on only a couple of bands and songs they performed:

Steve Miller Band - Fly Like an Eagle
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Higher Ground

I like those songs. I can't listen to them when my wife is around. Why?

An ex of my wife loved Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. He would watch the movie and TV show regularly.

By regularly I mean every single mother effin' day of this man's miserable existence.


When I first met my wife and realized I was attracted to her I asked her if she had a history of mental instability. This isn't a joke; I actually asked her this. See, the last 3 girls I dated before her were, in order, 1) bi-polar with border line personality, 2) clinically depressive, and 3) bi-polar with clinically depressive. I'm not passing an arm chair diagnosis here - they were under the care of a state licensed psychiatrist.

Apparently I like fix-er-up projects.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with those needing mental health care. It's just that "mental instability requiring pharmaceutics" is a box I want don't need to see checked when I was accepting applicants for a significant other.

How about you? What have your significant other's exes ruined for you?

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