Monday, December 17, 2012

My dear friend, Kevin Pollak.

For the past few weeks I've had the pleasure of riding to and from work every day in the company of comedian, actor, and interwebs star Mr. Kevin Pollak.

Every day on my hour long trip, Kevin would entertain me with stories of his growing up as a child. From lip syncing Bill Cosby's "Noah and the Arc" act for relatives to what it was like working with stars such as Robert De Niro, Bruce Willis, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Burgess Meredith. . .the list goes on and on.

Do I work in Hollywood, you ask? No.

Well then, I must have some job related to the movie industry. Wrong again.

I spent $14.99 and purchased an audio copy of How I Slept My Way to the Middle: Secrets and Stories from Stage, Screen, and Interwebs.

The book, read by Mr. Pollak, is very entertaining. I began to look forward to my drive to work each morning when I would get to listen to Kevin do impersonations and tell stories; laughing hysterically while listening him, while doing Walter Matthau, talk about a cassette tape which was Walter's most prized possession. I'm sure I looked insane to other drives who had the misfortune of driving up next to me.

One day, while entering randomness into YouTube, I stumbled across a video of Jay Mohr doing an interview. During the interview it was brought up that he, like Kevin, does an excellent Christopher Walken. Admittedly, he does. But then the interviewer brings up that he tells everyone that Mohr's is better than Kevin's. Mohr agrees and even goes so far as to say, "Kevin Pollak will tell you I do the best."


I thought, "How dare you compare yourself to my friend, you little twerp! What's the last movie you were in that did any good at the box office?"

Incidentally, the last movie that he was in that was big at the box office was Jerry McGuire. I know - I don't remember him being in that movie either.

But, as you probably noticed, an odd thing happened. After having had listen to Kevin Pollak read chapter after chapter of his book whilst in the privacy of my vehicle on my way to work, I felt like he was my friend. I thought maybe sometime he might call me and invite me over to his place for dinner. After we would drink a few drinks, smoke some cigars, and he could share with me why it is so fantastic to be in the middle. I'd tell him stories about my life and he would reminisce about how much it sucked to be poor. I could feel a real bond of friendship forming.

Then it came. The end of the book. And, as with any good book, I felt like I had lost of a good friend as Kevin read the final words of the last chapter. Our two hour a day, two week friendship was gone.

I look back fondly on those days. I don't know what he's doing now (other than a webcast, producing and acting on stage and on the big screen, and countless other projects) but, where ever he is. . .I wish him well.

Take care, Kevin. And, if you're ever in town, give me a call. I'd love to catch up again sometime.

AUTHORS NOTE: It's now May 9th, 2013. I've seen Jerry McGuire since writing this and now remember Jay being in the movie. He played, what else...a weasel of a character.

I'm also watched Jay's Christopher Walken...and, damn it, if it isn't brilliant. That magnificent bastard!

Kevin has also mentioned Jay as being an inspiration for his Christopher Walken in his book. Still, after spending so much time riding to, and from, work together...I'm partial to Kevin's take on Mr. Walken. Maybe if Jay has the opportunity to ride with me in the future, and pays for the gas, I may be persuaded to think otherwise.

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